I am the Very Model of a Corpulent Red Corpuscle
By Bill Bowlus, with Gratitude and Apologies to Gilbert and Sullivan

I am the very model of a Corpulent Red Corpuscle
And though you may not know me I assure you that your corpus’ll
Be thankful for my oxygen increasing ratios more per cell

For every time I circulate
I help you to rejuvenate
There is no way to over-rate
This Corpulent Red Corpuscle

The nourishment I bring is just one thing that I can do for us
While coursing through your veins and arteries and through your humorous
The gifts I bring are simple although bountiful and numerous

I’ll gladly trade you CO₂
For oxygen and iron too
The more to make you grateful to
This Corpulent Red Corpuscle

I cannot wait to join the flow – I have to go I cannot tarry
Otherwise you’ll get a lot of clotting in a capillary
Then you won’t be feeling like your life is gay and oh-so merry

When you need a lot of me
To help with your phlebotomy
That’s when it’s really great to be
This Corpulent Red Corpuscle

So if you’re feeling low and think there is no way to bear it all
Then troddle to your pharmacy and take a dose of Geritol
For when you do you’ll find it’s true that soon you have the wherewithal

There’s nothing to negotiate
For it’s my fate to navigate
From tippy-toe to top of pate
To keep you in a healthy state
Or all-too-soon you’ll be ‘The late’
There is no need to speculate

I am the very model of a Corpulent Red Corpuscle

Copyright © 2007 William John Bowlus

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